Obsession
by manga-ghost
Summary: Falling for your best friend, he thought wryly, was a definite nono. [Oneshot, implied AxelxRoxas]


_This was a short peice written when me and a friend were playing a fic game where you're given a keyword and have to come up with a fic for that keyword... I was given Obsession. EASY. _

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_BEATRICE:_ "_When do I know if I'm in love?"  
GLORIA:_"_When you realise that you can't live without them."  
- Kingdom_

By the time he saw the pain there was in being so deeply involved with another person, it was too late. Far, far, far, too late.

Or maybe it always had been too late for him. It wasn't as if he was supposed to exist anyway. It had probably started being _too late _when he had realised just how much Roxas meant to him.

Falling for your best friend, he thought wryly, was a definite no-no.

It had _hurt _when Roxas left - actually hurt, for the first time ever - and it had hurt even more when he'd found him again and seen the reports to be true - he really had forgotten. That really hurt. At first he'd thought that Xemnas' scouts were lying - Dusks weren't the most reliable of sources, and besides there was no way that Roxas would forget anything, he hated even the idea of forgetting something - but when he'd got there and seen that Roxas really had forgotten… _look at me, see me, Roxas, look at me, it's me, recognise me _remember_ me -_ in some ways, it was worse than him leaving.

It was so much worse.

Unconsciously - or maybe consciously, he wasn't sure - finding Roxas became the purpose of his existence. Screw the Organisation, screw Xemnas, Saix, Kingdom Hearts, whatever, he was not going to let the only good thing he'd ever had get away again.

A little before he'd left the Organisation to chase after DiZ's precious Keybrat, he'd overheard Xaldin and Saix talking in the library. What was the word they'd used…

Obsession.

He chuckled emptily. It was true. Fuck, it was so true. Roxas had completely fucked him over, and yet he was still doing everything he could to get him back. What had happened to him?

He'd known the rest of the Organisation had been wondering that exact same thing. Demyx had just told him one day that he'd changed. VIII's gone soft, was what most of them had said. But he hadn't cared, it hadn't mattered because -

Because Roxas had been with him.

He had changed - it was true. The Axel who'd orchestrated the deaths of the five at Oblivion wouldn't have chased above and over every world in existence after some stupid kid - he'd have cared less, laughed. Back then it had been all about number one - and if he was honest - he had found some sort of sadistic pleasure in bringing down Larxene's conniving attitude, Marluxia's smug grins, the higher numbers' cool superiority. He'd enjoyed it.

It was almost funny - in a black, ironic sort of way - to think that he was the same person. Because right now, he couldn't be bothered with complicated plots or schemes or anything - all he could think about was RoxasRoxasRoxasRoxasRoxas…

He wanted him back. He wanted Roxas - his heart, for better or worse - back. That was all he needed. Kairi had had her precious Sora for years, she was an oh-so-special Princess of Heart, capital P, capital H, for light's sake! So why shouldn't he take the only thing he wanted while he was still here? Why should Sora be more important just because he existed first? Without Roxas, he was just an overgrown Heartless - just as bad as a Nobody!

He was getting Roxas back. He needed him back to make that horrible empty feeling in his chest go away. He hadn't even noticed the emptiness much before - it had been there, like with all Nobodies, but it hadn't really bothered him. Now it seemed to be all he was, and he couldn't turn to Roxas anymore to get rid of it. It just intensified more when he was talking to Sora, because despite Sora's annoying cheerfulness and idiotic thickness, some of their mannerisms were the same. The eyes were the worse part. They were the right colour, but the wrong eyes - too cheerful, not serious enough, too naïve - and no matter how hard he searched for some glimpse of his friend behind them, he couldn't find anything.

So he was going to rip Roxas from Sora, if he had to. It had to work. It was going to work.

Because if he couldn't get Roxas back, then he might as well fade back into the darkness that spawned him.


End file.
